The Pirate's Disability

There was a Pirate, tall and fair
A remarkable feature; long, long hair
His baggy pants, his eye-patch, his scary glare
All came together into a rather rackish air.

His friends came around, saying "What a sight!"
We'll take you out to town for a wonderful night.
They took him bowling, hiking, climbing,
All with the greatest of gusto, and much chuckling.

At the end of the night, tired, dusty
They came to their last pleasure.
A wonderful, cool inviting treasure
He, the Pirate, exclaimed "I'm somewhat rusty!'

But he jumped in with a nervous glance, and grim.
He promptly began to drown.
After rescuing their bedraggled friend, they hollered, with a frown
"Good gravy! Our maritime companion cannot swim!"

They held him down; he was soon shorn of his long hair
His eye-patch was ripped off
His baggy pants, they left there.
They said "You can't be a Pirate, tall and fair!"

He was taken to the pool, pushed in
and taught to swim
He took to it gallantly, working hard
And actually got the hang of it, looking no longer like lard.

He took to the water with his new found grace,
He conquered sailboats from beneath,
And won many a race
His friends allowed him to grow hair back upon his face.

He, now a full-fledged Pirate,
Went to all the fancy Pirate conventions,
Impressing his rivals with his rolling sea-gait.
That is the story of a pirate worth mention.